SLOW AND GRACEFULLY...

I just finished with my last trainee and gave the info to my CrewLeaderAssistants.

I still can't believe they have me as a "CREW LEADER".

I mean, really. ME? Kind of like MEN IN TIGHTS but in New York...

Hopefully we'll receive info soon about our next step.

NOT about doing the Census. I just spent a week training them on that!

But on WHEN

I wonder how many conflicting calls, emails, info blasts we'll all get?

Will one person be giving out that pertinent info or, will our LCO (local census office) have a variety of people call from lists (all outdated) to pass along information (that inevitably is incorrect) to we low level few, the poor, the gifted, the clueless about where our AA binders (for you non-government speak this refers to the area being interviewed on Census Questionnaires) are and when to assign them and when to begin.

Wanna start a betting pool about this one?
I'll choose - "none of the above"

Oh well, confusion leads to $$
And as I've said before, I'M A HO I AM.

So while the training aspect of this joyous journey through Census Land has passed. I look forward to the endeavors of the next part of our journey.

The Valley of DOOOR MEN

"YOU AIN'T GETTING IN THIS BUILDING"

The Mountains of Refuses

"WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT?"

And of course my favorite...

The Plains of Confusion.

Let's hope we all have a merry band that will do their best, realize they have no power. And other than the pay, their safety is the most important aspect of this glorious journey we've all embarked upon.

May the wind be at your back
May your shoes not crack
The ho's and addicts ignore you
and all respondents adore you.

Fair journeys to us all.

Where's my margarita?

BEGINNING OFTHE END?

Or end of the beginning.

I can't believe it!
It "appears" that all our little probationary Census Takers have finished their training!
Well, almost... there are a few loose ends and canons to take care of.

Everyone keeps saying, "The Census is Coming! The Census is Coming!"
Supposed to start May 1. I wouldn't bet my last dollar on it.

For my district, I will be finished "training" by tomorrow noon. I am also meeting with and training my CLAs (Crew Leader Assistant).

I HOPE NO ONE IN MY DISTRICT sent the Questionnaire back!
I want to work as long as I can.
Or until I get a show, whichever pays more.

It will seem strange and lonely not to see my fellow Crew Leaders and their Enumerators every day,
but I'll get over it.
Hopefully now I can focus on and review just what the heck MY JOB IS!.
I know I have responsibilities both administrative & supervisory.
But I can't for the life of me recall what it is.

Guess I'll have to dive back into the .... manuals.

da da dummmmm

Not exactly what you would consider light reading.
More like what you would grab on a flight to Australia.
Put you right to sleep.

But I'm sure it will all come back to me, if I ever knew it in the first place.

After all, I'm An Actor. I can make anyone believe I am what I want them to believe.

Wait ... isn't that a psychotic? Well, is there really any practical difference?

So,
To all the ones I've known before
to all the ones I've moooooned before
I'll have a drink of wine
I'll have it one more time
To all the ones I've known before...

Good Luck to you all. I hope we don't fall away
but I'm sure we'll see each other again someday

and say, "Wait, who was that guy?"

YOU BETTER SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT!

Whew!

It's 9:30pm and I'm finally sitting down, martini in hand after a fairly long day.

First training of the day, I arrived at 8:30 this morning. Had the usual group, trying to prep them to take their first tentative steps out into the world.

The little darlings. So hopeful, so expectant. So unprepared.

Trying to get them used to unrealized expectations.

I had told them they would be going out in the field today.

NOT!

But we did get a bit of the next day done so they don't have to spend too much time on their last class day, whenever it might be.

Of course we did have a few who, hopefully, benefited from the delay of doing "live field work".

They WEREN'T ready at all. Fairly nervous, unsure, resentful.

You know, like a bride on her wedding night. So we had practice sessions.

Then I had an evening group, unknown to me or me to them so daring was called for. Give 'em a laugh or shock. Anything to help them remember the endless drivel I'm reading to them that hopefully will help when they go out on their own.

Hopefully they will all realize that they will get it, and if they don't they won't die. They'll get paid and they'll either continue or not. It's neither earth changing or shattering.

It's a paycheck.

So to all my fellow Crew Leaders I raise my frozen martini glass and spit in your eye.

Here's hoping we survive longer than predicted, make more money than expected and have better memories than Johnny Walker can supply.

Good Luck to you one and all.

EITHER I'M GETTING BETTER AT THIS OR JUST NUMB!

Well, I made it home without having a single alcoholic beverage.

While my feet are a bit tired. I'm not quite in the haze I was yesterday.

Today Was a lot to hash out. We started training our little "trainees" on How To Take The Census!

ta dummmmm

As usual I stood up front and did my schtick.... I mean read the manual verbatim.

Hmmmmmmm ..... well, I did as well as can be expected.

There was a LOT to cover and the poor little lambs seem to get more and more glazed as the day wore on.

We did have few who seemed to obsess over one little issue. And go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ...( you get the picture) about it.

Even if we moved to another subject they always brought it back to what they were worried about/didn't understand.

At that point I DID WANT A DRINK, I even asked one of my fellow Crew Leaders if he brought a flask. Which got a laugh. Some of the trainees were annoyed at the pointlessness of going over the same thing so many times.

It's kind of fun observing my trainees and seeing which ones are going to need hand holding and which are going to be just fine.

Also seeing who I want to use as my Crew Leader Assistant

OOOOOOHHH Doesn't that sound exciting and fun?

I have one who wants to be and one I think might be better at it. I wonder if I'm even going to get one?!

Oh well, tomorrow should be fun. I start the morning with training. Then when my little angels get kicked out of the nest I won't be there!

I have to go and train DAY 2 MORNING (second time) at a Night Class!!

I guess this will be as close as I ever get to miss seeing my child take its first step.

I'll live.

Till next time Live, Dream, Drink and Drive.

Second Day of "First Day"

Well, we did it again only better.

The Wonderful World Of Census led us yesterday into indoctrinating another group of Census Taker Trainees. Instead of getting all of them together at one time our fearless leaders decided to break it up into numerous smaller groups all over and at various times.

So the people who train them, including this poster, get to repeat themselves endlessly, confusedly and everywhere.

I gotta say my second day of "First Day Training" did go much smoother. But I don't expect that to be a pattern. And who knows I might get to do a third day of "First Day Training".

But as of now I'm getting ready to do a day of Second Day Training to a group consisting of 4 Crew Leader Districts and might even be teaching some evening classes.

Since the First Day was all about paper work, getting everyone fingerprinted and into the "System" it was pretty boring.

I'm looking forward too(?) actually training them on how to do what they're going to be doing. Since the class after Second Day (today), Third Day, actually includes some field work, getting out and asking questions.

Then they "should" have one more day of class work to review and be out in the field doing Census Taking.

Wow, if this is any example of how things get done for the government I think it's time to move to a Very Small Island and start my own. But for now, confusion leads to more hours and I'll take every $$$ I can get.

Till later fellow sufferers/travelers and those who just wonder what the heck I'm babbling about.

The no longer lonely but hopefully paid Crew Leader.

FINISH OF DAY ONE!!

OY!!!

The first day, what can I say?

Wait, let me have a pitcher or margaritas first.....

Ok, now I can continue.

Whew, doing paper work for the federal government can be soooo frustrating.

The paper work is LONG and everyone thinks they know what to do next. Even if you tell them not to get ahead they do, and then it's wrong. Because?

There is the right way, the wrong way and THE CENSUS WAY.

Then we fingerprinted.

I thought elementary kids with finger painting could be rough. They ain't got nothing on a roomful of... mostly middle aged people. (I can say that because I am one)

But we got through it and do it once again tomorrow for a whole new group of Enumerator Trainees.

I think a hip flask is going to be part of the ensemble tomorrow. And around lunch time I'm going to point to a corner in the back of the room and scream, "Oh My God, it's Michael Jackson!"

Then turn and take a sip of some smooth brandy. AHHHHHH

Well, income is income and that's what I need.

Till the next installment of the the Lonely Census worker! HiO Silver AWAY!!1

First Day

Well after two weeks of training, hmmm (training refers to the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and competencies as a result of the teaching ofvocational or practical skills and knowledge that relate to specific useful competencies.)

Ok, maybe that's a little too strong.

My first day of imparting what little I've learned to those who will be doing it.

Now THAT'S a scary thought.

Today we Crew Leaders start the process of training those who will be going door to door for the next eight weeks (or more or less) on the proper procedures to follow in order to get the data to the Census!

It's one of those experiences where you truly learn by doing. The fire will burn the chaff away, hopefully.

As I say, "There is the right way, the wrong way and THE CENSUS WAY".

So as I get ready to head off into the sunset, uh... sunrise, Get along you little doggies and let's round up those recalcitrant populace who don't answer the Census Questionnaires.

More to come, if I survive.